It aggravates me.
It angers me.
It makes me feel weak.
Months. Months have gone by since we have last interacted. Yet visions of you constantly flit through my mind, further kindling my heart’s constant yearning for you. It’s a vicious cycle.
Blue eyes. Hazel eyes. Pale butterscotch skin. That’s how I’ll remember you. Though I wish I didn’t.
It’s become tortuous, the frequent moments where all my mind does is focus on you. And solely you.
You’ve devoured my attention. You conquered my dreams. You’ve intensified my need.
I loathe every single thought and feeling that I unwillingly project towards you.
Yet, if given the chance, I know I would accept the torturous bickering of my heart and brain in order to see you once more. For in the end, the heart will take what it wants.
And in the end, even after all of my complaints, I want to be able to feel helpless from under your gaze. To feel my heart thundering from within my chest just from your presence. To feel my stomach boil from your bright smile.
I would take the emotional distress just for the chance to see you once more. I would give up my being, for you. And that may be the worst part of it all.